originally posted by user Kenochoric / Kenochoric-moved / Trans-Haunting
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About Damselpunk
Damselpunk was originally “coined” here back in November 2022. I outlined some things I had been thinking of on the post, but now that I’ve sort of outgrown your typical coining-post format, I thought I’d actually explain what I made the label for, and what it means.
However, when I first made it, I realize when looking at it that it was incomplete. It was a good start, but it was really only speaking for my experience. And how I- someone who is TME, who is white, experience womanhood and negative stereotypes associated with it will differ from how trans women and women of color will experience it (among other examples.) Not only that, but even from within my own groups my experience isn’t universal. As examples….
The stereotype that women are frail, weak, and purely feminine little fairies, from what I’ve heard, is often different for some women of color and trans women. I’ve heard accounts of other women being painted as aggressive, as hypermasculine, and as dangerous for being people of color. Similarly, I’ve heard many stories of trans women being treated as an inherent danger to the cis women around them, as overly strong and as needing to force themselves into roles that made the people around them more “comfortable.” To be clear, I really can’t speak on these experiences or their nuances, so I don’t feel comfortable going over every single thing I’ve heard, but I didn’t recognize this nuance in my original post and it was absolutely an oversight.
What a “lady,” or a “woman” is in different cultures, countries, and just general social groups differ. The things I outlined in my post, like being “dainty” and “proper,” are absolutely real stereotypes, but they are far from the only ones, and the stereotypes and expectations elsewhere can be just as restrictive and misogynistic even if those expectations are different from the ones I grew up with.
Reclaiming womanhood from something formerly traumatizing is absolutely a real thing, but the way I specifically said “growing up” centered my own experience, and was unintentionally excluding a lot of trans women. Finding womanhood formerly painful because of how it was put onto you, and then reclaiming it again, is not a purely adolescent thing, and is not exclusive to people who were “"raised as girls.”“ The notion that it is, even though I didn’t intend it to be, was transmisogynistic.
Damselpunk is just as much about rejecting systemic misogyny as it is about rejecting interpersonal acts of it. I didn’t outline enough examples of systemic oppression in my post when I should have. It is very much so about combating systemic misogyny in all of its forms, as well as recognizing intersectionality and groups of women who are affected differently due to other institutions of oppression working in tandem with misogyny.
So, with all of that out of the way, what is damselpunk? Why did I make it? What does it mean to me, and what can it mean to other people?
Damselpunk is ultimately a movement about rejecting women’s oppression and mistreatment, in all of its forms. It is about rejecting the idea that women are less default, less normal, or inherently the "other” compared to men. It is rejecting stereotypes and roles placed onto women regardless of what those roles are. It is self respect and autonomy for oneself, and valuing yourself as a person who is deserving of respect, individuality, and care. It is rejecting the idea that there’s only one way to be a woman and live as a woman, considering there are countless different variations and experiences that can exist between different women.
The term Damselpunk was chosen due to how in countless stories, the woman is the “other,” or the prop device in a man’s story that is not allowed one’s own development or thoughts. The Damsel is fundamentally disregarded and not considered their own person, as is part of their “role” within many narratives. It is less about how the Damsel needs to be rescued (“damsel in distress”), and more about how the Damsel is rarely if ever counted as a true character beyond a device for someone else- however, the “damsel in distress” narrative may also resonate with some women as a trope that ought to be flipped on its head, I simply didn’t want to paint that as universal, since some women may also enjoy that trope and like the idea of being “rescued” or “swept off their feet.” I like that there’s multiple ways to interpret the term, regardless. Ladypunk was also coined as an alternative, for people who prefer it.
But, the notion of damselpunk goes beyond the often-shallow parade of “women can do anything! women can be anything!”, it goes further than that. It is also about rejecting misogyny, and the system that perpetuates it. Of course, misogyny and the oppression of women takes many, many forms and in what way it presents itself depend on a wide variety of factors. For some women, it’s being painted as frail, as dainty and inherently feminine. For others, it’s being painted as aggressive, dangerous, predatory, and in need of “protection” from. For others, it’s being ignored, having one’s needs and desires swept aside and seen as secondary. It is also a broad rejection of the idea that women’s rights do not matter, that feminism is unnecessary or “dead,” and that it isn’t worth caring about. It is also strongly against the notions that misogyny and women’s rights only takes form in one way, that empowerment is only one thing that presents in one way. Exclusionary forms of feminism, and the broad strokes people try to provide for women’s empowerment (such as making every female character “the one with the braincell,” the “strong one with no feelings,” and otherwise) are not the point of Damselpunk and do not represent the movement. This goes especially for forms of feminism that is intentionally bigoted or attempting to remove groups of women from the movement, such as TERFs.
Any type of woman can exist. Womanhood is not just frilly dresses and long hair, but it can be- those things can be deeply empowering, even! For other women, embracing gender non-conformity, masculinity, or gender-fuckery are incredibly important, and just as whole as another form. Womanhood is also not intentionally binary, nor is it tied to the body. It can be dissociated from the binary, alongside other genders, or even be a form that is completely disconnected from binary notions of it. It is a malleable thing that we have given a word to, and may be played and experimented with in a variety of ways. Putting women into an inherent box- that they must be this, or that, or the other thing, regardless of its intention is narrow-minded. A woman may be of any race, of any weight, of any appearance and of any place. They are just as much of human beings as men are, and are not less “normal” or “default” than another gender.
When writing all of this, it puts into perspective how malleable damselpunk itself is. It can be as varied as women themselves are, and so trying to put one set of experiences or expectations onto the label is simply not how it can be.
Now, for the symbol and flag I created for the term:
This symbol is called the Damselblade. It’s different from the original symbol, because frankly, I don’t think the original was very proper. It had been trying to make the original female symbol look partly like an X, but it was just a mess. So! I instead flipped it upside down and moved the horizontal bar close to the base, making it resemble a sword or blade. Hence: Damselblade!
And here is the flag, both with and without the damselblade! No changes were made between posts besides the symbol itself.
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Now, just as a bit of an epilogue before I end this already-huge post: Even through all my attempts and corrections, I want to make it clear I do not represent every damselpunk experience, yes, even as the creator. Part of making a term for an entire group of people (women) is recognizing that you have some blind spots. I can’t speak for women of color, or trans women, even though they’re fully welcome in the label. Some of the things I’ve outlined might not fully encompass people whose lives I haven’t lived.
So! I encourage people to see damselpunk in their own way, and to not just experience it from within the lens and views of the creator. So long as you’re a woman, a girl, what-have-you, you can be damselpunk, and that comes with the inherent footnote that I won’t be able to include all those nuances. If you have any criticisms or anything like that, please send them to my inbox and I’ll take it to heart! (Just be respectful, please)
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Should be fairly obvious, but TERFs fuck off or get blasted by the damselblade
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originally posted by user Kenochoric / Kenochoric-moved / Trans-Haunting
