Follow-up question from something I said in this post: link
How could the radqueer community try to avoid infighting?
This is an interesting one because I do think it’s important that we keep discussing issues we have in the community and have healthy, productive talks about topics that we’re divided on. However, it seems that when there are these discussions it becomes (or just starts as) fighting and aggression, and the rest of the time everyone is trying to remain neutral and co-exist with everyone.
Co-existance is good until the point where people are under pressure to silence themselves and be neutral towards things they think are genuine issues in the community. We have so much infighting that some radqueers won’t even dare to publicly disagree with something in fear of starting more fights. That can be really dangerous and just isn’t a nice feeling generally
I do think that a bit reason for infighting in any community is lack of exposure to differing viewpoints presented in a respectful way, aka existing in a vacuum. Instead of educating ourselves on what others think and why, we make assumptions to avoid asking them directly, causing misunderstandings and black-and-white thinking (eg. “transharmfuls all think this, I think that’s bad, therefore they are all bad”)
Having other spaces that allow radqueers to exist alongside one another and non-radqueers of various ideologies could help reduce infighting because more exposure to differing viewpoints presented in a respectful way means people are less likely to view disagreement as an attack, and more likely to view it as constructive. Being stuck in a community and not being accepted anywhere else can mean that even the smallest of disagreements become arguments and even feel like betrayal.
Overall, the more opportunities people have to start associating disagreement with positive things like discussion, diversity, and development, the better.
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a more simplified summary of this response:
The more opportunities people have to start associating disagreement with positive things like discussion, diversity, and development, the better. That’s why I think it’s so important for radqueers to be able to feel welcome in more non-radqueer spaces, and around radqueers with different opinions to them.
The fact that this is rarely the case means that we get lots of infighting – the community just doesn’t have enough experience with how to respectfully disagree and make constructive counter-arguments.
Are you a radqueer with an answer to this question? Feel free to answer it with a reblog or comment, or submit a post to my blog!